My new favorite excuse for not jumping on new trends or bandwagons is ‘I’m 30.’ No more explanation needed because anyone under 30 just thinks I’m old and everyone over 30 understands implicitly
listen. tony talk. I’m rooting for great comet for the SOLE REASON that if deh wins it means more producers are gonna go for that dumbass faux-rock, JRB-lite, trying-too-hard-to-be-edgy, white-26-year-old-who-went-to-nyu-and-listened-to-too-much-next-to-normal sound and I just CANNOT fucking deal with that for too much longer. there is more than one way to write music that sounds contemporary and also, stop repeating the lyrics over and over
Did you hear that Mad At You Island has been declared a wildlife sanctuary? There’s an endemic species of newt that can only be found on Mad At You Island. Nobody is allowed to be Mad At You unless they get a special permit from the Bureau of Wildlife Management.
Those newts said some pretty fucked up shit about you though.
No I’m not attracted to you. Quit your evil putting your finger under my chin to make me look up at you. I know I’m your nemesis and all but we really need to set some boundaries when you’ve got me tied up like this.
No look I get it. You’ve got your evil plan, you’ve gotta get me out of the way but you also want to see me suffer as I watch the world burn, I know. But like, I’m not into this. Sexually or otherwise. Wait, you thought I was doing this because I liked you? I’m trying to stop you from using a death laser. No I don’t think death lasers are sexy what on earth are you talking about
Wait. That’s why you dress like that? I thought that armor was impractical. No I don’t find our relationship to be homoerotic I find it to be tedious. Look, man. We all keep trying to get you into therapy. No I’m not kink shaming you I’m saying you’ve completely misinterpreted this relationship. I actually do think you should answer for your war crimes. Yes, really. No you’re the one not listening to me in this situation. Yes that is the alarm the others will have cut all your wires and called in the fbi by now.
What do you mean you thought we had something special? I have other enemies. You’re not the only one. No I’m not doing kinky things with them either I blow up their nefarious devices. Speaking of which, you might want to move like… ten feet to your right.
No, enemies to enemies. And then still enemies.
Cannot stress enough how lovers will never be part of this equation even a little bit
The henchmen in the tags who have been assuring the villain since the beginning that “of course he likes you back, why else would he keep coming to destroy your death lasers”
The henchmen have been reading too many romance novels.
Awfully defensive are we? I think the henchmen are onto something.
You know I didn’t intend for this character I made up to be aromantic but this whole post has turned into being arospec at a family reunion simulator
This is your captain speaking and yeah we’re not landing. I just feel like we’ve got a really good thing up here and I don’t want to ruin it. This is my home and you are my people
